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| What bugs me...
PEOPLE WHO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF OTHER PEOPLE.
Argh.
You know, sometimes you can just SEE people who purposely try to befriend others they can see themselves benefitting from - generous people, kind-hearted people, rich people, famous people...
But if that generosity or wealth doesn't extend to them, they drop you in a heartbeat!
And possibly what bugs me quite paralleled with that are PEOPLE PLEASERS. But ESPECIALLY people pleasers who have a lot of money and use it to "buy" friends and you can totally see it. Why do you need to do that?
What TRUMPHS both of those is an even MORE annoying realization of people who have "friendships" built on BOTH! Somehow, to me, reciprocating both of these back and forth, doesn't even constitute a friendship, but they'll brag how they are best of friends. So fake. So gross. So annoying.
I hope for something bigger and better for these people. Something that is genuine and real, and not built on getting something from others, mooching off of others, thinking the only way they can have friends is if they buy things for them and win them over... Time to grow up, people, and see that life is so much more than this.
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| life lately.
i don't know why it's taken me this long, but it's really starting to strike me that life is moving on and forward and well, we're all growing up. up until now, i guess i've been living my life, but somehow thinking that we're still just steps out of college. but in reality, it's been a long time, baby. and high school, whoa, a decade.
one of the things i've always prayed and hoped for was that as time passes, my relationship with simon would never ever get stale. you know how sometimes you hear and see marriages that get into a rut and things just pass on and they go through the motions? where's the passion, the laughter, the purposeful dedication and chase? i'm joy-filled to know that i still fall head over heels in love with simon every day. and lately, i just keep missing him desperately throughout the day and cannot wait for him to come home - like when we first started dating in college and i would anxiously wait for him by the window to come over after his last class was done. i still lose my breath at every kiss. and isn't that the way it should be?
and my kids. ethan did 5 pages of homework/school time today without even a blink. i remember when he first started learning to write and now he can write his letters without hesitation or trouble. cameron started school time by drawing shapes, and today, he finally remembered and executed a letter C for his name! such great things to rejoice in with them!
our one year review for the house is coming up. we've started taping up blue painters tape all over the house to mark spots of missed caulk, paint or settling with nail pops. time passes so fast. and yet to some level, even after 11 months, i still don't feel like i've completely settled enough. i'm finally becoming more familiar with roads and direction, and finding my groove with girlfriends. our small group is finally feeling like its gelling and jiving. i guess all these changes really do take some time...
maybe another revealing factor is our actually planning for a third. our first and second were sheer blessings from God, unplanned and wonderful surprises, in our extreme youth, especially by east coast standards. and maybe now we feel like we are in the river of life with the rest of our east coast friends, planning for a family - only this is our third. but what a wonderful, albeit stressful, experience!
with all the joys of growing up, come the pains and sorrows of it as well. the losses, the disappointments, tragedy, hardships... things that seemed like it could never happen to us in our naiive youth. but we are in the throws of all those things. whether they happen to us directly, or to our friends and family, as adults, we know the responsibility of truly carrying each others' burdens and what it means to love unconditionally.
i feel like i am aging more quickly these days than i used to. the fine lines and crows feet around my eyes are settling in deep and taking root relentlessly. i feel the deeper need to get into shape and keep my body fit in order to keep up with my children. all this and i had my first kid at 22. i can't imagine how it'd feel if i only had our first kid now at 28. i'm glad God had a bigger plan. portion control has never had a bigger meaning in my life until now. if i remotely eat beyond what my stomach is hungering for, it'll show in my gutt and butt... 5 minutes later!
i'm not really going anywhere with these thoughts. just things that have been filling up my brain lately. maybe the major thought is that we're getting old. ha!
and the older ethan gets, the more witty he becomes. let me share his latest:
he is finishing rinsing off in the shower and i am helping cameron get dressed in his room.
ethan calls for me from the bathroom, having finished and turned off the water. he needs me to hand him his towel.
"Mom! I need my towel!"
"Coming! Wait one second. I'm helping Cameron get dressed."
"But Mom, I need my towel. I'm cold!"
"Ok, I'm coming..."
"Mom..."
"Coming..."
"LO PAU!!!!" in a very mock exasperated tone!
O_O
For those that don't understand, he called, "WIFE!!!!"
So when I came skidding in and smiled and asked what he called me, he repeated, "Lo pau..."
"You can't call me that. And don't say it like that."
"Why not? Daddy calls you that and says it like that all the time. Especially when he needs you."
=P
sigh. growing up, i tell you. >_<
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| PARENTING IS TOUGH.
HOW DO YOU EXPLAIN TOUGH LOVE TO A PRESCHOOLER?
Like, why you have to do certain things for their own good and growth as a person.
To make them understand how to be a better self.
SOMETIMES.
Staying calm and giving chance after chance after chance just doesn't work anymore.
The occasional spank awakens them to pay attention and listen.
Yelling doesn't always work and often just creates a very tired Mommy.
DRAINING.
emotionally.
mentally.
physically.
spiritually.
I don't know about you, but after I need to yell at my kids, I feel like I need to go crawl in a hole and pray, or soak myself in a fountain of youth to undo all the aging that happened in the span of 3 minutes.
DOES IT GET ANY BETTER?
Some say yes.
Some say NO!
I'm scared. From all my other experiences seeing kids grow up from sweet, innocent children to teens filled with angst who lie to their parents and do dishonest, deceitful things that compromise their integrity - it makes me shudder. There are the few lights out there who give me a glimmer of hope.
Usually if I ask Ethan if he'll be my best friend forever, even after Kindergarten, even after middle school and high school, even after he gets married and finds a wife... he ALWAYS says YES! Of course! But yesterday when I asked him, he said no. He said he just didn't know if maybe he'd find a better friend when he goes to Kindergarten and he might want to be best friends with him. Broke my heart.
CRUCIAL AGE.
They say these preschool years are crucial in developing your child to be who they will be in the future: independent, strong, loyal, dependable, smart, hard working, kind, good hearted, family oriented, spiritual...
AM I BUILDING THESE CHARACTERISTICS IN MY CHILDREN???
I'd like to think I am, but the truth is, you just don't know.
I sure hope so...
JUST HAVE TO KEEP WALKING ON MY KNEES.
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| TO THE LOVE IN MY LIFE.
YOU'RE THE BEST HUSBAND, FATHER, BEST FRIEND ANYONE COULD EVER HAVE! HAPPY ANNIVERSARY! Simon, Killer Vball player
 Simon, Awesome family man
 Simon, Funny Daddy (first dinner ever at Dairy Queen)
 
Simon, Ultimate Daddy Dino King
 Simon, Super Veggie Platter stacker!
 
Simon, Ultimate Griller
 Simon, Most Achieved Newbie Handiman I have EVER seen! (building my front flower bed wall)
 Simon, you are the love of my life. I'm so glad we found each other 10 years ago... We've been inseperable ever since! Or maybe you're just stuck with me!! FOREVER!! muhahahaha! 
Simon, enjoying his patio.
 Simon, so suave and good looking. =)
  
---- Recently, after playing outside, not having realized polloen had come back with a vengeance... Ethan washed his hands and went to take a nap, only to wake up an hour later screaming and clawing his eyeballs out. My poor baby looked like this, eyes swollen and puffed up like goldfish and shut. =*( Doesn't he look so "chaam"??? =*(
 Immediately gave him Benadryl and let him use my brand new spa eye gel mask. He loved it. He layed on the couch and I let him watch dvds. He's pretending he's a superhero. =)
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| MAY SHENANNIGANS Once the patio was done, Simon set off to start planting grass on our lawn. Here, Ethan takes a break with Daddy as they sit on the wall and ponder life's greatest mysteries. =)
 Happy Mother's Day! I was surprised by a wonderful breakfast set in front of the tv, with a slideshow photo montage dvd. My good friend, Rachel, and Simon put it together, complete with pictures from the kids since birth til now, and interviews of what they love about Mommy. <3 Cameron, "I love that Mommy cooks good food."
Ethan, "I love Mommy because I appreciate her feelings and I love to give her flowers. I love to cook together with Mommy." Ethan sang in the children's choir, The Mustard Seeds!!! He was adorable and knew all the lyrics and hand motions.
 After church, the boys took me out for lunch to Five Guys, a burger place I've ben wanting to try! So yummy! the burgers are HUUUUGE! And you get free peanuts, which the boys LOVED. I felt so greasy when we left! haha!
 
Here is our pro bike rider, Ethan.
 Here is our pro tennis ball whacker, Cameron.
 Here are Mommy and Daddy working on the lawn. This is called a rototiller, borrowed from our neighbor, Simon tills the land to prep it for grass seed planting.
 Here I am, spreading grass seeds. Simon had it on a setting where it only spit out like 4 seeds at a time. After doing row after row, and 3 complete sets to cover the entire backyard, but it still didn't look like enough seeds, I decided to crank up the number and lo and behold! A lot of seeds spit out! >_<*
 We found this little guy hopping around the side of our house.
 A recent bride I did for her trial. Youngen. 22. Did I look that young when I married at 22?
 Ethan using his rake and truck to help transfer dirt. =)
 We became members of the Science Center. Here, my boys are waaaay too involved and enjoying building a DNA replica. =)
 Playing in the Polymer Playground.
 
The boys have all kinds of inside jokes now. They play well together more and more (and need me less and less. >_<)
 Daddy and Ethan deep in Bible Study. For real. Ethan LOVES learning from his children's Bible. Post shower. =D
 Ethan is all about gymnastics, head stands, flips, exercising, running - being a BOY! Cameron runs and bounces everywhere. NONSTOP. =)
 Ethan and Cameron measuring up.
 At Memphis Kiddie Park, a local mini-amusement park for kids.
Ethan with his best friend, Zoey.
 Me and Cameron.
 My kids LOOOOOVE fruit.
 Ethan and Zoey ride the roller coaster alone. They don't need us Mommies anymore. =/ <sniffle> Still, so cute!
 Going up...
 See Ethan putting his little hands up prepping for the drop? SO CUTE!
 I <heart> Teagy Bear!
 (Teagan currently has a major crush on Uncle Simon because he's soooo cute! =) haha! Notice she calls him "Uncle Simon," but I am still "Ms. Lois." ^_^)
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